Antigoat

Old

2011-01-22T03:42:00.000-08:00

Before, all before- it's all been done before. The heartache, the tears, the deathwish, the depression- all of it heard, all of it seen, all of it lived in a million ways in times gone past, in memories turned to dust.

Old, its all old, all of it- every sigh, every wistful look towards the stars and the moon, every irregular beat of the heart. I have nothing new. I have nothing to say to you that hasn't already been said by millions of other people, a million times before in little stories that have happened before us.

And that cheapens it. It does. Don't lie to me that it doesn't, because I know, you know and every one else already knows how cheap and tawdry this thing is today, how lustless and old. How interminably boring. I know.

So goodbye.

Lazy 2

2009-12-17T00:06:00.000-08:00

Another old one, found randomly on my computer....

A contest: being lazy,
From dawn to setting sun,
40 people turned up,
And those who didn't won!

I Blog Once More

2009-10-05T09:03:00.000-07:00

Figures it would be hate-speech (mine And everyone else's) that would draw me back to the realm of blogging :P

Either way, this is a letter fresh off the shit-pile that I wrote and submitted as feedback to this: http://www.pbs.org/behindcloseddoors/episode-1/index.html

Read on, faithful viewers, and pray i don't regret this in the morning:

I read through the summary of your series which has convinced me that the show, which had the potential to be an interesting program revealing allied atrocities both left and right, is nothing more than the normal propaganda ridden anti-communist drivel being expounded by American historians since the beginning of the cold war.

I am not a fan of Stalin, most certainly a power-hungry, mass-murdering, and frequently incompetent leader, nor am I a fan of communism. But I also loathe shoddy, unresearched, money-milking, sugar-coated hackwork masquerading as history- which is what I accuse you of producing.

The fall back point of so many would be historians educated in the shockingly doctrine infested American school system seems to be Stalin's pact with Nazi Germany allowing for territorial gains in Eastern Europe. Anyone with any understanding of World War 2, having studied its causes from where the war was seeded- ie, the end of World War 1- would be equally aware and sure to mention the Munich Pact; the West's own little alliance with Nazi Germany. A pact which formally solidified a decade of appeasement promising that the West would 'look the other way' when it came to Nazi atrocities, territorial gains and most importantly, the German re-militarization (in direct violation of the treaty of Versailles) that was the centrepiece of the 6 terrible years of carnage that followed. And the pay off was no secret either- let Hitler rise and he wipes out communism, that scary new movement in the east that threatened the Big Business capitalist leaders of the west at that time.

In addition, Stalin's list of crimes is quite certainly a long one. Violence, murder, enslavement, indoctrination, mass-deportations, ethnic cleansing- the list goes on. And yet no one seems to remember that at that very same time Britain was the head of a vast and terrible colonial empire involved in, what- slavery, murder, suppression, ethnic cleansing- the list does go on here too...(take my word for it, as an American with origins in the largest of such colonies) Which of course, one might ad is coupled with the US's own double standards towards black people- a particularly ghoulish form of human rights violations that continued unchecked throughout the cold war.

So, far from doing something new and useful and providing a lesson in history anyone could learn from, you have merely joined an old witch hunt, the anti-communist bandwagon, reproducing frightfully inaccurate excreta of human knowledge for the sake of corporate kickbacks.

Where the true lesson of world war 2 is how human beings, regardless of race, religion, politics or any other sort of divide can be equally cruel or equally kind- you have committed the crime of merely reproducing the sort of sentiment that led to the war.

Congratulations.
Chitrak

'We are mad as hell', they said

2008-12-04T10:25:00.000-08:00

I normally don't write posts like this. I refrain from commenting on the nature of man and the world around him/her because I know that it is rare for anyone to have the time or inclination to listen, and further the will to understand, given how our lives are these days. Also, it pays more to listen and keep listening if you are trying to establish a true view of the world. But today I'm in a good mood, so I'll type it out anyway and let's see what happens.

This is an interesting article: http://www.rediff.com/news/2008/dec/03mumterror-we-are-mad-as-hell.htm (I have yet to read it all) however the paragraph below in paritcular interests me:

"So what's the permanent solution? "I plan to be at the Gateway next Wednesday too," says the young director, "And every week after that, I want like-minded youth to take up this cause -- we should meet every week, maybe not at the site, but to move in the right direction. We can also spread the word through the Internet and via SMS. We should create a civilian body that the government is answerable to, a body of citizens that can sit in on state security council meetings and enlighten the public about what is happening, pass on information about what is discussed etc. We spend Rs 1.25 crores on Parliament per day, which has convened only 50 sittings this year. Is this what we're paying tax for? Where are the solutions to our problems? The terrorists shut down the city for three days, then our politicians call bandhs and shut us down again! All they do is name bridges and parks after martyrs, instead of making sure that those brave people did not lay their lives down in vain."

It is interesting because it amuses me. It is amusing because it illustrates how two concepts are commonly misunderstood. These are the concepts of representative govt and democracy. Two concepts clubbed together normally as if they must go hand in hand. Although both are important parts of modern govt and together work towards the ideal they have very separate histories and thus must be treated separately to be understood. I will now begin to address these topics, beginning with

Democracy:

The rule of the free people. It is considered by many to be an integral part of an ideal govt. It is naturally what people would want and is the only form of govt that can be to their benefit. This is not true. It is true that democracy is beneficial, in the long term, but it is misunderstood as being natural in any way. The most natural form of govt is ultimately monarchy and I don't mean that everybody wants to be king, rather that everyone wants to be led. Ultimately being led means people don't have to think for themselves, relieving them of one of life's biggest burdens- the need to make decisions, especially big ones. In the short term, a monarchy is in everyone's favour (except maybe the king). A democracy(especially one where everyone is free) requires everyone to participate in big decisions- not to anyone's immediate benefit.

Democracy fails when people fail to understand its true nature- that everyone needs to think and take part. People fall back into the feudal state, and this failure is illustrated in people's need to identify politicians as a class of people. People think: for whatever they are worth, politicians rule the country, and just like feudal lords, when they fail the threat is uprising. People fail to consider them at par and to treat the nature of their own roles in the democracy properly. To do so would just not be easy. And that is to noone's benefit.

To be fair, politicians are not an arbitrary class in India as such. the true difference between 'them' and 'us' is that in modern India (and probably the world in general) politicians are those people who view politics as a profession. While it is ok for an official to be paid a salary, the problem lies with certain people being able to dedicate all of their time to the political process where everyone cannot. And this exists solely because political parties are funded organisations. To really deal with the issue of politicans, one must stop the funding, making it impossible for anyone to live off of politics alone. This levels the playing field. and opens up the possibility of a true democracy, where anyone can vote and anyone can stand for office.

Democracy is beneficial because noone is infallible and no bloodline can ensure good kings. Nor can a monarchy successfully stamp out the human ego. Therefore the only system that works, albeit bumpily, is Democracy. It can work, folks, but only if you want it to, and only if you understand what it is really supposed to do.

And so I reiterate: Democracy's purpose is to give everyone a voice, so that noone feels the need to seize control by physical force. And that is all that it's purpose is.

now for the second

Representative Government:

Again here misunderstandings lead people to expect not what the system is designed to do, but results that are not part of the system. For representative government we shall start by going back to its roots. We last visited Democracy, who's roots I may mention, are in ancient Greece (or maybe further, but that's just bickering, really) wherein the 'free people' or demos (Athenian men in their case, not everyone like these days) were each given a voice in government. When big decisions had to be made, they all gathered in one place and decided what to do. Surprisingly, representative government has roots that go much further back than that.

Representative govt has its roots in the most basic and ancient methods of government, tribes. People usually formed groups loosely based on lineage, called tribes, and tribes were run by a chief or a council of elders. These were infact the first representatives, MPs if you will. They were the face and the voice of the tribe, something especially important when it came to dealing with other tribes. Modern Representative Government descends from this concept of tribes over the centuries via systems of govt such as the Plebeian Tribunes of Rome (not the Patricians, the Patrician Senators were more like the Demos of Athens (if you don't know what I'm talking about, you can look it all up on wiki, but you don't have to)) So basically MPS, Senators and whoever, exist to give a voice to one group of people, just like tribal leaders in tribunal meetings and once you get that, we can move on to Modern Representative Govt

The purpose of Modern Representative government is Not to get together the best people you can find to represent you and see if they can come up with magical solutions to all of your problems. It is far from being a panacea for all the worlds needs (as we well know) However this is not a failure of representative govt. The purpose of representative govt is very simple. Peace.

Or to put it in long form, the purpose is to create a platform where different tribes can get together and discuss their issues and possible solutions on paper instead of fighting it out. It is not supposed to stop fighting or bickering or ill will between groups, but rather to make sure there is a process to sort out this ill will without the loss of life. One cannot expect every one of today's issues to be solved amicably, but if the purpose of a representative govt is understood, the percentage of physical conflicts avoidable increases dramatically.

One of the best examples of a Representative Govt (especially because it is not in the context of a representative democracy) is the UN. The UN is a highly maligned organisation, accused of impotence and failure. Of course it fails. Its not supposed to bring peace by enforcing the law, and noone understands just how it is supposed to bring peace. Once again the UN as a govt where representatives of various nations/tribes can get together and talk, will not work as a magical think tank, enforcing ideals. It can however work as a platform for on-paper resolution, provided that processes that make such resolutions and changes possible are made integral parts of its structure. the deals that are made underground and out of sight need to be made there, in the open, and accepted the way they are with no pretence of enforcing morals. Only then will it be taken seriously, and only then can it truly be an instrument of peace. What the UN lacks is not an Executive branch, or a Judiciary, or even a potent Army. It lacks a Legislature.

Back to the point. Representative govts have special meaning for democracies. They have a logistical significance in that, firstly, it would be difficult for a nation of one billion to meet like the Demos did. Secondly, when a nation is vast, and its issues are varied and complex, it is important for some people to exist who see the big picture (which is why managers exist, by the way- not just to be slave drivers. If people understood this, offices might be more efficient too).

***

After this long lecture, dear survivors, I can finally really get back to the point. Which is why I find the above paragraph amusing. The man talks about setting up a committee to monitor the activities of the Parliament. That is, he wants representatives of the people present in the Parliament to make sure the country is well taken care of. If you have understood what I have told you in the above paragraphs, you should see this as the most ridiculous thing anyone could ever say. What the **** does he think the parliament Is?

To explain(if you are as tired as I am and still don't get it) what he wants is people to be in the parliament who will watch over politicians and report back to us. All well and good. Except that these people can only be a select few. We can't have everyone going there, so they have to be representatives. Also they must represent the people evenly, so they'd have to be elected. Since they'll be elected by the people, it is natural to assume those with the most time and energy to lobby for such a position would win.

Elective representatives from the pool of people with the time to do nothing else but get themselves elected hmmm....He wants to deal with the problem of politicians with (all together now!) more Politicians!!!!!!!!!

Now I am going to bed. I promise i will edit this cause I'm sure its roughshod. But I hope you've learned your lessons. Good night!

Much More Ado About Nothing

2008-09-24T06:21:00.001-07:00

This post is another one of them random posts, though not a product of hours of idle thought, rather that of idle net searching or something of the sort. It is a post, that while a product of the daze i find myself in today, doesnot comment directly upon said daze. It is also similar in its intent to that damned bumaccess4all.net post, however i will promise you better language, sentence construction and editing this time around(for the most part).

Today's post is about the word 'Wikisexual'. Now in most places the word is used for people who get off on Wikipedia or collaborative webtyping in gen. And normally I'd be fine and leave it at that. But the more literal interpretation of the word is so much more interesting - I have to give it mention, and hope that the efforts of my lone blog might help push this interpretation into mainstream use.

Ok, so what does Wikisexual literally mean? Well in english, a wiki has come to mean a collaborative webpage, ie a web-document that anyone can edit (and sexual means, well- If i have to explain that, you shouldn't be here, shoo!) Putting 2 and 2 together, we conclude a wikisexual is basically someone who's sexuality is defined at random by the people around him, influenced by them as they please. In other words if someone comes up to you tomorrow and tells you bestiality is hot and you start looking at rover in an entirely different way, well, you're probably a wikisexual(and honestly, how many people Do you know who are like that?) Thusly, we see wikisexuals should be they that are the ultimate Goats(see my earlier posts) of sexuality, and That, I propose, should be the most definitive usage.

Now I can claim originality - I have the time to trawl through the net and check , but not the inclination - neither for defining wikisexual in this way nor even for using the literal english meaning of wiki in a wiki based compound word (see wikifriends - xkcd) and I don't really care (in fact, when have i ever).

However, if you'll note, I've carefully stated that the definition of wiki i gave is the english definition. And that's because Wiki is originally the Hawaiian word for quick. So using that literally would mean wikisexuals are people who get off quickly, ie the whole herd of premature ejaculators that fuel half the spam on the internet. This i'm sure is a definition original in almost every way. And, probably, the funniest of them all.

Good night, Planet Earth!

Products of Boredom

2008-09-01T02:45:00.000-07:00

I'd been thinking - I do that alot, though i've recently concluded it is not the bane of my existence that i and some others have previously made it out to be- anyway, I've been thinking and in isolation one finds time to give thought to many things, things of purpose and things utterly random. This post could have been one about the many thoughts i've had about philosophy or science or the nature of man. Instead today i post on something utterly random, with no meaningful purpose at all. >:D

It started as a simple thought, my geek side gave it weight, and now its bloomed full blossom into one of those internet list things. I'm writing it so i don't forget, and writing it online cause there's bound to be some losers somewhere who find it interesting.

So, ahem,

The Question:
If you're sitting on the South Pole (and I mean smack-dab ass-on-point On the South Pole) what Time-Zone should you use?

The Answers:

1. The practical answer: Just use GMT.
2. The aesthetic answer: Depends on which side of the globe you're facing.
3. The mundane answer: Just pick one at random and stick to it till you die, how does it matter anyway (how does anything matter anyway)
4. The religious answer: Same as above, just be prepared to die for your right to use that Time-Zone!
5. The physicists answer: Design a system of time that makes your work at the south pole easiest.
6. The geek answer: Use complex algorithms and popular science to design a time-frame that has no connection to reality in any way.
7. The lazy answer: Just use whatever time zone your watch is already set to.
8. The lazier answer: Don't wear a watch.
9. The even lazier answer: Why the f*** would i want to go to the South Pole in the first place?
10. The laziest answer: zzzzzz.....huh? wha..?

People, of course, (and i mean you, loser, if you've read this through and liked it) are encouraged to add to the list as they please. Prost.

Mourn Me Not

2008-04-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

The trees all glow around me,
Their leaves are lush and green,
The songs of birds surround me,
The sky so blue and clean.

The world around is sunny,
Each face so warm and bright,
I alone am lonely,
I alone have night.

Mourn me not dear lover,
For though my days are dull,
One look upon your brightness,
Their aura does anull,

For though my days are weary,
My happiness is rare,
I live for those bright moments,
The ones that we may share.

So mourn me not dear lover,
In sorrow never dwell,
Be joyful in your brightness,
So i may be as well...

A Facebook Poke

2008-03-09T10:02:00.000-07:00

I may redraft this, but for now, here it stands:

So I remember you, big deal,
I remember oh so many people,
From the thousand shores i've been to,
The thousand faces I've seen and thousand tiny memories,
Of which some memories stay and some go,
Of which some friends ebb and fade away,
And others stay, who stay forever.
And sure, in so many memories,
For one brief while we met,
And sure, now I remember,
But soon I may forget,
Your face will fade,
My advances ebb,
But don't worry,
It's only now that I remember,
Tomorrow is another day,
And the sun will set,
And we can watch,
Together,
Let's.

Limerick

2008-01-17T06:46:00.001-08:00

There was a young man of Torquay,
Who fell for a girl from Taipei,
They quickly espoused,
And soon in France housed,
Now there is a young man of Versailles

Until

2008-01-03T17:06:00.000-08:00

They tell me I must wait,
So I wait.
They telll me I must try,
So I try.
They tell me that the pain,
Isn't all that I will gain,
They tell me that true love won't pass me by.

They tell me, "Act your age",
So I act it.
They tell me, "Be mature",
So I try.
They tell me, "Be yourself",
And everybody else,
And soon, they say, I'll never have to sigh.

But

I'm done with shattered hearts
And failed romances.
I'll shun the petty wisdom
That they cry.
I'll make it understood,
That I'm off of love for good,
That is, until the next sweet face I spy.

Thank You

2007-12-17T14:47:00.000-08:00

This was written today :)

Everytime
My courage fails
I see the world
My poor heart quails
Every thing seems cold

Weary heart
Soggy eyes
Throat so dry
All those goodbyes
I think that I am growing up so old

Then

I see you
And in your eyes
Are sunny days
And rainbow skies
The shadows melt away

Thanking you
Everytime
You're with me
The sun will shine
My heart is warm and ready for the day.

One Last Day

2007-12-17T14:45:00.000-08:00

Originally meant to be a song and once more a throw back of feelings from by-gone days, I present to you One Last Day, tune started but incomplete. So for now the lyrics may suffice:

One last day
That's all I'm going to ask
One last day
it'll be an easy task
one last day
And i promise we'll be free
one last day
of you and me

This isn't meant to be a song
Sung for the broken hearted,
This isn't meant to be a song
About unhappy days
This song is not about good byes
Its a celebration
Think of it as a last hurrah
Before we part our ways

You and i we weren't meant to be
It wasn't going to last for ever
And i know that you and i agree
Breaking up was the best thing ever

Now we look forward,
To brighter days beyond,
Free of memories,
Both painful and fond

One last day
Is all i'm asking,
Take time to relive the past
Go over the things we loved and
The things we wished would last

You used to think you couldn't live
Without me, funny how you were wrong,
I used to think i couldn't be,
Without you, thats why i'm singin this song

When we move forward,
To the days beyond,
We only live in memories,
We hope that they are fond.

I don't want to sing to you
About being broken hearted
Nor do i wish to sing
About unhappy days.
I've given you the world to see
Live it, love it in every single way
It'll be enough for me
If you can give me one last day

One last day
That's all I'm going to ask
One last day
it'll be an easy task
one last day
And i promise we'll be free
one last day
of you and me

One last day
Is all i'm asking,
Take time to relive the past
Go over the things we loved and
The things we wished would last

One Last Day.....

Empty Vessels

2007-12-07T16:38:00.001-08:00

Empty pots that roll around
Are sure to make the greatest sound
And yet despite the noise they make,
No one cares if they break.

Politics

2007-12-04T11:15:00.000-08:00

Is it common or is it just me?
That the difference I never see,
'Tween politician fat,
And a rat in a hat,
They're the same, the same as can be!

Question

2007-10-14T06:28:00.000-07:00

O the grass is green and the fields are fair,
Flowers outside fill the air,
My window is wide as my heart I bear,
And place my arms on the sil.

And my gaze trails up to the clear blue sky,
Tracing the flight of birds up high,
Watching the trees as they shiver and sigh,
While the world below stands still.

And on every house the sun shines down,
Every roof is a golden crown,
Fills with its glow each road in town,
Each window sees it shine.

And through each window as it shines through,
Rendering homes with warmth and hue,
When, i must wonder, will it shine through,
This open window of mine?

RR%

2007-07-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

(Which would be RR5 if not for my tendency to keep holding down the shift key)

The thing is I never get time to blog... So i figured now is as good a time as any.

Recently I've had a lot of things to do. I'm home, as far as I can say that, and that home happens to be Bombay.

I don't usually have much to do, so i sit and do things...useless things. F'rinstance these two games (let them be stated here before anyone else states them(that too, elsewhere) so I can claim sole copyright, in the event that such useless things as internet timepass games become copyrightable, and yea, financially worth a goddamn copyright. Ahem!(are you lost yet? If so, in the words of Deedee - "Good!" If not, ah well, read on!))
The first of which isn't really a game, I dunnow why i even post it here. In fact I'm not sure its what i wanted to have posted at all, but wth, till I can think of the original thinger I'll have to make do with this: The Gtalk Game-Who's on First.....(man that title is crappy!) Its a fun exercise and goes something like this: If you have gtalk, take a good hard look at your friendslist. You will notice there the names of certain contacts arranged in alphabetical order. If you extend the program to span the height of your screen, this list may get very large indeed. Now comes the fun, cut down the height by one(ie shorten it by the length of one contact box) and see who gets knocked off the list. Grin with evil as you rate your friends mechanically by who talks to you most on gtalk. Continue till one person is left. Who is this person? The one you are destined to marry. Go throw a nice party in their honour! Yay!!!(All kidding aside, it is alot of fun just to see...So who tops Your list? Hmmmm?)

Game two is a bit more interesting, and seeing as it is actually a game, i wouldn't be surprised if some bored internet losers(like me) even make whole tournaments of it. Its called 6 degrees of Youtube and goes like this:

Find or think or hear about some obscure video on youtube.

Go to the Youtube main page.

Now using anything on that page and with out using your keyboard to type things in or copy-paste to put together word fragments in the search bar, try to find that vid. It isn't as easy as you think, in fact it takes alot of brain racking. For instance for my first try I tried to find my vid(one with Jude screaming), the only one i have up so far... I got as far as some indian dude doing yogic stunts for free before i realised my vid was way too obscure and gave up. However take something less obscure, hell, even memorise what tags it has, and try to find it. and when you've mastered that: Race your friends. And after that get a life.

If you have done all the above, that means you are pretty much as bored as i am and probably half as screwed up as well. As for me, I must really get back to doing things. Useful things maybe. I'll let you know if it works out. For now, bye bye!

PS A word from our sponsors There is a Cabal but they aren't too proud about it... >:D mwahahaha, nighty night!

The Seat

2007-06-11T03:42:00.000-07:00

He stood in the metro railway compartment as he did everyday. He was tired and it was a long journey home. He watched the whole train from his position, holding onto one of the poles near the door. There were no seats free. He had not had a chance to sit down, even though he had entered on one of the earlier stops. It was not that no seats were free then; he was just not inclined to sit next to someone else. It was the way of some passengers not to sit next to someone on a double seat, but to wait, rather, for the next double seat that was completely unoccupied. Thus he had waited, by the door, watching as all the vacant single seats were filled. And he watched like a hawk.

There was one couple in the seat right in front of him, on the other side, that looked ready to leave. They had been there for a long time, and had just begun to collect their things. The next stop was minutes away, here was his chance. In front of him stood a man, if you could call it that. Given its height and girth, it seemed to him more like a mountain. The monstrosity had entered only a few stops before and had stood there blankly the whole time, unmoving while his presence and obnoxious body odour filled the air. Our friend eyed him suspiciously. He would have to act fast if he were to get his double seat. Surely that sort of behemoth would need to give his legs some rest. And he was on the other side, closer to the chairs too. Lightning reflexes would be required.

The train started slowing down, the station had been reached. The man tensed himself, ready to spring into action (none of this showed on the exterior of course, regular commuters are well trained for that). The train stopped and the couple got up- but what was this? The young woman from the seat in front of them! She had been waiting for them to move as well! And the moment they had left their chairs, a split-second before he could move, she slid smoothly and inexorably into the coveted double seat. The man was left standing, clinging to his pole near the doorway, insides burning with indignation.

Of all the cheek, he thought to himself, Here he had been waiting all this while for a seat, standing near the door on weary legs while she sat, and she had the nerve to take his seat away from him! It was sickening! It was perverse! It was- but wait! He noticed a movement through the corner of his eye. It was the lummox, the lummox was moving. It had stirred from its position near the other door and had moved towards the young woman's chair, the neighbour of which now lay unoccupied. He stopped in front of her, manouvered himself into position and promptly dropped his entire self-which could easily have filled two seats on its own- into the chair next to her. The young woman nearly yelped as his bulk threatened to crush her against the window. She struggled in vain to achieve a better position, perhap pull herself out and go and stand near the door like our friend, but finally overpowerd by the sheer size of her neighbour and no doubt by his overwhelming odour, she resigned and fell defeated into her chair.

The man near the door watched the whole thing, grinning with amusement. He hung onto the pole with one hand and looked out the window. Suddenly his legs felt so much lighter.

RR4

2007-06-03T02:17:00.000-07:00

Right now I am outside, on the balcony outside my house. I rarely come here, but when i do, i know its great to have a house, with a balcony, over-looking a pond with coots floating around. With trees that fill the view before me, with the gentle breeze wafting through. Sounds; sounds of the city with its traffic and aeroplanes; sounds of the wind ; sounds of people going about their business throught the day.

It is strange. Very. I wouldn't want a blog to be standard and cliched; you know, the ones about dogs, cats, days off, what i'm doing, who i am, I, I , I. Of course my blog is very me-centric(thanks to my ego of course) but uptil now i'd like to think of it as unconventional and, as you knew i would say at the start of this long and drawn out sentence, antigoatish.

I'd like it to have poems and stories loose and haphazard...Reflections on life, hopefully general and devoid of too many 'I's. I talk way too much, and about myself, perhaps i could make up for that by gleaning and concentrating my stories, And removing the faff.

***

:) funny how times change. Now i am on the sofa. listening to a violin piece from O Brother Where Art Thou. It is a day into the future. My mood is quite different. The violin is kinda sad. I guess i feel the same way. Oh well.

The Anatomy of Insanity Part I

2007-05-29T16:47:00.000-07:00

Do you know what it means to be mad? Well i donot know the exact words best used to describe it, however in this; what i hope shall be an ongoing series; i shall attempt to explore this much explored part of humanity through experiences of mine own: Also(the german meaning, not english, cause the way germans say also is cool)the setting:

Quarter to 2 in the morning, my living room on the couch. the sofa gently moulds itself to the shape of my ass as i sit here for yet anther long an extended session of Net-assisted Brain refragmentation. Don't get it? Chill...relax, let the words find you and enjoy the ride. This post was designed not to have a purpose(in which it resembles an RR)

bumaccess4all.net. There. I said it. bumaccess4all.net. Today's Dinosaur Comics involved a panel where TRex(if you haven't read it, this post will be a bit wierd so here i link you to www.qwantz.com) creates a website called bumaccess4all.net. His intentions were not as lewd as they sound. So immediately fell in love and did a search(like any good little net-rat with so much more to do with his/her time and no motivation to do any of it) and found that this particular line attracted as few as 1 hit(s) on Google! This is my attempt to push my blog to become the second on that list. Number two in a field of two, on google. Kinda spooky-cool if you think about it. And happen to be me. I suppose both criteria count.

As usual there was lots to be said since the last time i posted. only a lapse into insanity could drive me to post again. I hope this continues. I have a hunch that most great people were insane(of course if i truly am insane it could hardly matter what i'm all hunched up about) So, after another reference to bumaccess4all.net. I leave you with these words of forshadowing:

The sequel to this post; if there is on; will be called anatomy of insanity part II.

Mbbaaaackoff!

Ta!

The Bartender

2007-04-15T15:38:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine used to work in a bar. They would open at six sharp, and all the wierdos of the evening would pour in. People from far would come, travelers with woeful tales of their travels. They told him their sorrows with the gentle sound of soft music in the background doing the soul what good the body was done from drink. There were the locals who, having felt the tedium of the entire day heaped upon their shoulders, would come in for a bit of r and r before returning home to their wives. The bar keeper would talk to them and advise them and hear them out. There were people in worlds unto themselves; they too came to the bar, though not in scores. Always unique in their suffering, our bartender was all ears. As a barkeeper my friend was swell. He had flair for serving it up and eye for knowing when trouble was mixed in the brew. He had of course, above all, and uncanny knack for listening, and that was what truly won them over.
Sometimes life deals even the sweetest of souls a bitter blow and one such blow befell my friend. It was mid july and his mother passed away, poor thing, had died of a sudden and fatal illness. His father was quick to follow. The next day he got drunk and called me over. We drank the joint dry; there was not a drop left as we finished, lying there, a couple of drunken sots on the counter. He had the funeral to attend next morning and I noticed him put up a sign: The bar is closed. I wonder what the old drunkards would think when they saw this. Where would they get their ale? Who would be there to listen? And just like that we were gone. I need a sign like that.

Good Morning Sunshine

2007-04-15T12:05:00.000-07:00

(For the record, I was feeling very good right now, but this story was written already, with the blog in mind, so what the heck)

He walked into the day and it was great. The breeze kissed him gently as he headed out into the sun. He looked up at the morning and three words would cross his lips as he said “Good Morning Sunshine” She laughed- oh what a laugh, it filled the sky and heavens above it did, warm as a breeze and sunny too, it shone upon his heart, lighting his soul. Oh good morning, sunshine, good morning good morning. Of course the day wore on as it was wont to do. And soon he saw evening and noon. Business was with him but luckily so too was health, oh it was a good day, he had his sun. The night came upon him and the sun was lost. The stars shone above, but all else was dark. There was no moon.

The next day he had the sun once more and talked to her and called her sunshine. She stayed but she had to go. The clouds rolled overhead. That was it. Business was there, Health, Wealth, Friends. He was busy. He kept time with Afternoon and Evening and then it was Dusk’s turn and she brought in Night, and then it was all dark again. A cold moonless night.

The next day the sun was gone. He saw the clouds, he had no sun. It was dark, yea how could he distinguish it from night? Evening came, Afternoon before it. He was busy you see, he had Wealth and Business to tend with. Health came and went. Evening came. So did Dusk. So did another dark and gloomy night.

He didn’t see her. It was gone. The sun was gone. He had Clouds and Rain, Storms and Troubles. He had no sunshine. She was gone and with her Day itself. Dawn was gloomy, Noon was gloomy. Afternoon, Evening, Dusk. The night was gloomy.

He did not eat, he did not sleep, he did not work, he did not play. He did not read, he did not enjoy himself. His sunshine had gone and with it the day, his love for life, his purpose to live. If day and night were the same would he even need to wake up? He lay in bed needing a reason to wake.

He woke up again. This day was cloudy. This day was dark. It was cold and gloomy too. He kept time with all his old friends, everyone of them except the sunshine that had once filled everything else. He met with Morning, Noon, Afternoon, Evening and Dusk.

It was this night that the moon came out. It was full and brilliant, an orb of gleaming white against a sky that was black. It shone down on him. It spoke to him. It said to him that it was time to go. He stared back at a bleak world. No sun, no stars, nothing. He said, “I know” And he went.

Stiches

2007-01-15T12:13:00.000-08:00

When your stitches,
Mean you can't scritch,
Where it itches,
Life's a bitch.

Blogger: Posting, Procrastination, and RR3(as if you didn't know!)

2006-12-02T07:13:00.000-08:00

Hello there. My name is Chitrak and I have returned to the world of blogger, blogging and generally wasting my time. Okay, so I lied, I never stopped wasting my time, I just found less obvious ways to do it. >:D(Thats my EvilGrin Smilie, for those unaquainted: EvilGrin Smilie, Those Unaquainted. Those Unaquainted, EvilGrin Smilie. Thats done, now back to what I was saying. If I can remember). It has been a long time since I have posted. Anyone reading the posts before last may believe this is because I went through a phase of manic depression. I assure you this is not the case. My inability to meet deadlines or do anything constructive has roots much deeper than my manic depression, and may be the cause of it.(For those curious about as to whether, why, or when I was, am, or have been a depressed maniac, :P . Thats a totally different story(I swear(and I'm sure you swear too after a certain number of brackets(Where was I again? Oh yes...)))).

Lets begin.

Ahem, first up, this post is written in the less than half an hour gap I have before I am going to a party. Most of my friends in touch with this phase of my life will notice the rising number of such things that I go to. TOday's is not a standard case, it is a party thrown by TCS(or ABN I'm not sure) for my father and his officemates. I'm going as an added appendage. All this started of course as an explanation as to why this post may be left in a hurry, seeming unfinished for some time. Incidentally(and this is another one of those puzzle pieces I talk about) this post is about why my blog remains sort of out there, hanging, and unfinished for the most part.

Ok. So. Why. Are so many of my endeavours left hanging. When I first started this blog(and to a greater extent, when I had prokulpia spring out from inside) there were at least a quarter of a thousand million and five topics swimming around in my head, ready to be written. All of them were gems, I swear. And hear this, avid(or not so) reader! They'd have been masterpieces, each one of them. I'd leave Tagore crying in shame(which is a big feat. The @#$@$ has a book of songs with a 200 page table of contents. And thats just Songs!) if I had managed to write them all down. But I didn't. Why?(See?? I just keep beating around the bush, that Has to be at least one reason) Well, to be frank(or Jim or...hey, this joke has been done to death hasn't it? I think I've used it Myself on occasion. Ok F*** it) I don't know. And I suppose You won't either for some time now, 'cause *sigh* I gotta go. Oh well. Next time. At least you have the consolation of joining our ranks. Us who have nothing to do and too much time to do it in.

G'bye g'night and have fun(and why not?? Go For It!)

Doggrel

2006-10-23T14:54:00.000-07:00

A lady in red,
Stepped out of bed,
To happily greet the morning,
She fell out instead,
And fell on her head,
And now we are all in mourning.

Black Isaac

2006-08-03T03:48:00.000-07:00

You should probably read the post below. It explains why I must either post this now or never again

I apologise if this sounds racist, it isn't meant to be. I had to go through a lot of books to find this. It is quite old and, by the way, unfinished.

Here goes.

"Have you met Black Isaac,
A terrible terrible thing,
He has a chip on his shoulder,
And carries his heart on a string.

You may well have seen Black Isaac,
Stands out amongst the crowd,
Eyes as black as the blackest pitch,
And followed by a cloud, a cloud!
And followed by a cloud.

You may not hear Black Isaac,
'Tis said that ne'er he speaks,
He dwells 'pon but terrible things,
And silence 'bout him reeks, it reeks;
And silence 'bout him reeks.

To meet him is to mourn him,
Tho' terrible he may be,
His eyes are wells of sorrow deep,
His voice, the trembling sea, the sea!
His voice the trembling sea."

I hope that it is completed someday.

The Paths We Choose

2006-08-03T03:22:00.000-07:00

This post should be called Random Ramblings 2, but I liked it better with a coherent title.

I don't post very often and that's a fact. I haven't even posted on Arvaril, my random creatvivty outlet, in a long time. But today I post i suppose in a state of mental duress. Talking about how i feel isn't easy for my, it happens either when I try consiously or I am to zapped to either care or notice(my fingers are shaking as I type, forgive spelling mistakes). I have seen with most acts of creation and expression it is good to strike while the iron is hot. So today y'all are lucky(or unlucky, or indifferent for all i care).

I am writing this i suppose out of a sense of lonliness. Being lonely is something very important to me, as it has shaped most of my life. When I was 4 I was torn from my friends at South Bend Indiana and taken to Aurora, Illinois. Around 8, I made big shift 2 coming here to Mumbai. Right now I'm on the verge of another one.

I am usually very feeling. Deep down I take things to heart quickly and forget and forgive even more quickly. It is always a conscious mental act for me to dislike someone, unless that person is a well proven jerk. However, I have met jerks and incomprehensibles in my time, I have lost alot of friends to moving, I am very capable of writing people off. It isn't something I like or hate. It is something I do.

In the blog for the xav2006 batch I told anon that if your lonely its your own choice, your own fault. This is for the most part entirely true. An antigoat is by definition a lonely person(read the post) and if there is such a thing that drives you to be an Antigoat, as long as that thing doesn't change, you will be lonely. It isn't easy to accept.

Its about checks and balances and the prices we pay. I can put my heart out on a platter for the world to see, but there's always a chance it will break. I can keep it locked in to avoid the pain, but oh that pleasure you get from good friends and happy times, am I willing to miss it. Now with great relish, cause I'm an anal-retentive Narc who loves cliches and puzzle pieces, I'll point back to the title that says "The Paths We Choose". I will show you the deep black background of the blog and ask you to picture some stars. Cause on lonely nights when I'm the only one awake, and the world outside is dark, and the house around me is dark, I'm gonna stare at these things and ponder the stars and space and the wonderful lonliness of being free, free to love, cherish, explore, and express, yourself, for yourself. And i may cry, when no one is there, to see me or hold me or share in that joy; cause that is the price of being lonely. There are plenty of smiles, but noone to share them with. And that's all.

2006-06-13T05:28:00.000-07:00

My Laziness Goes Down So Deep,
And I've no Promises To Keep,
Just Naps To Take Before I Sleep,
Just Naps To Take Before I Sleep......

An Actual Letter to HT

2006-04-17T02:19:00.000-07:00

Let's see if they actually print this.

Sub: Marie Antoinette

Ed,

I am apalled that you should print an article such as that of Dia "Marie Antoinette" Mirza's(Open Source: Monday, April 17). I have many problems, regarding what she has written, but first and foremost is her blatant classist attitude which is the bane of all society today. Throughout her article she has made references of "celebrities" vs "the common man" defeating not only the entire philosophy of human equality, but undermining the very basis of her OWN article, "equality before law". If you are set, mentally, to look at the world as "celebrities" and "common people" you can never have logical correctness in any argument based on human equality of any kind.

Having said this, I would like her and all other celebrity-huggers to know that what is going on in Salman's case is perfectly fine. The man may be a saint, but at some point in his life he has blatantly broken the law repeatedly and must now atone for his crimes. If the law states anywhere that people convicted for poaching endangered species should not be kept in the same cells as "muderers and terrorists", I would greatly appreciate it if your journalists would quote these sections of the law in the future. As it is, I don't expect celebrities to have the time to care about the environment, what with their noble job of supporting the film industry (just like British colonials nobly provided jobs for slaves), but in case you do, let it be known that the Chinkara is endangered and killing one is not just "killing a deer" but a move towards wiping out the Chinkara all together. If that's ok with you, you might as well go out and kill tigers, who needs them anyway?

All this aside, I must admit that what angered me first is the quote judge not lest ye be judged. What is Dia Mirza trying to say? That because we all make mistakes we should ignore mistakes all together? Of course i want "what measure I mete to be measured to me agian". The move should be towards self improvement, not degradation! If I have killed, i should definitely not want other people to run around free killing people! The punishment should be equal, not the lack of it.

Lastly, in a democracy, the laws made are the will of the people. The enforcement of these laws is no way tyrrany. And if you argue that in reality the laws are made by politicians, remember, they are our representatives ellected by us. If they are corrupt, swindling, thieves, what does that say about us?

Sincerely,
Chitrak Bandyopadhyay

PS Although you may not think it feasible for a letter of this nature to be published, I sincerely request that your articles be more balanced and informed in the future. Any opinions and emotions should be restricted to the style section. Thank you.

A Short Story

2006-04-17T02:03:00.000-07:00

I wrote this day before yesterday.

The Corpse at the Top of the Mountain

When he had gone to the saint he’d been told there was a job for him, if he was up to it. It was to be a terrible job and it was to be his last. He had smirked at this. Here he was, the greatest adventurer in all the world being told that he was going to his death? Unlikely. And yet he had taken it. It was in the challenge. Many had tried and failed and this made it all the more important that he should succeed. Before he left though, the saint had said, “It will be your last task. You will know the time has come, when you find the corpse at your journey’s end.” And so it had begun.

It had taken him many years in travel alone. He found himself wading through swamps, crossing great deserts and sailing across the sea. He had borne it all without a hint of discomfort.

Crossing the land beyond the sea was the real challenge. It was here that many a hero had fallen. Aside from the wild and ferocious animals, there were armies of native men-folk who were hostile and dangerous. These too he had managed to cross.

Then, after a month of travelling across the frozen wastes of the North, he had finally come to his destination. A single white mountain, a mountain sought not for any prize it contained, but for the simple glory of being there. All he had to do was to obtain some snow from the top or get a good view of the corpse and he was through. He could retire to drinking ale with his friends. The words of the saint had come back to his mind and he had laughed at them.

He had begun his journey upwards in spring, what seemed to be the time that the snow should melt. Safe or not, he did not know, but he knew his goal was well within his reach. Nothing could stop him now. He had come to a little village. Just a small settlement with walls of stone, halfway up the mountain side. He stopped there to look for some company before his final assault, and found the natives to be friendly. He had stopped in at the common hut for a drink and that’s where he had met her.

She seemed very simple at the start, having lived her whole life in this village; there should have been nothing special about her. But he soon found, in conversation, her heart to be filled with fire, a fire not unlike the one that had driven him so far. A mutual fire arose between them, and soon he was trapped, mission forgotten, in the village of snow. It is not often that one finds the exact turning point in one’s life, but for him, this was it.

From then on, he had stayed in the little village, had courted his lover and eventually married her. He became more and more accustomed to his surroundings, and the people who were now his. He began to love his life and enjoy it. As the years passed he would grow to be an integral part of their society, raising a family of his own. He would grow old to see his own grandchildren and love them too. It was a wonderful life. But then she died.

He had stayed on, maybe a month or so after her death, before his old promises had come back to him. He said goodbye to his children and their children, and all the people he had come to know and love. It was not easy, but he hadn’t the heart to continue this life, so he chose to complete the other. He would climb the mountain, so that his final journey could end.

And now today, he stands there at the top, staring into the gigantic pit at the mountains peak. It was once a volcano, or it could not be this way. He descends into the crater, his eyes searching for the body he was meant to see so many years ago. He cannot find it, but it doesn’t matter. He is tired and he is old. The darkness swirls around him gathering like the falling snow. He lays his weary body on the ground and frees the last breath of air from his lungs. He dies.

Quite suddenly, but without any true sense of shock, he awakens to the glory of light all around him. As he stares up into the heavens, he sees angels beckon for him to follow. His spirit turns towards the ground in one last attempt to complete his worldly tasks. And there it is. The corpse. The corpse that would signal his death, his journey’s end. It is his own.

He turns back to the heavens, thankful to the saint. He floats up through heaven’s gate, into the waiting arms of his love.

The meaning of Antigoat which then turns into random rambling number 1

2006-04-14T00:48:00.000-07:00

The very point of this post is the definition of "Antigoat". I will keep it short. I may ramble on afterwards. That may be long. But the definition will be short.

To put it simply, a "goat" is a person who follows the crowd. They are usually not recognised individually. When you see a heard of people moving somewhere or doing something and can almost hear the inane thoughtless bleating that goes along with it, you can be sure that most of them are goats. Fearful, unthinking and "normal", these are the people who dominate our planet, or more accurately, this is the personality type that dominates us. You will learn more through references in later posts; I have promised to keep this short.

An "antigoat", one would suspect then, is the exact opposite of a goat. This is not true. They are not alike, but neither are they opposites. And antigoat is sort of the middle ground, because an antigoat is someone who can atleast recognise the crowd, but then in an irrational thoughtless way, chooses to go against it. When you see the bleating heard running one way, blindly, the antigoat is the raving loon running the other way equally blindly. This loon is often what i am.

I have reasons for being an antigoat. Reasons that i will express in future posts. But the sad truth is, as with all antigoats, these are not really reasons at all. They are probably just post-rationalisations.

SXC vs Sex

2006-04-11T06:47:00.001-07:00

Well, every Xavierite who blogs, or uses any other medium of expression for that matter, dedicates at least one post in his/her/its blog to the ole Alma Mater. Not one to disappoint, or to have less of College Spirit. I too will include one post on the subject. If i ever get off my ass long enough to do something serious, there may be more. But for the time being this is it.

Why the years spent in St Xavier's College are like Sex:

1. Everyone remembers their first time.
2. It just keeps getting better as you go through with it.
3. The more things you try the more fun it is. And hell, there are a lot of things to try.
4. All of it is good, but everyone has their favorite spot.
5. Its generally more fun if you completely reject your parents advice.
6. It just wouldn't be fun without members of the opposite sex.
7. By the time you reach the peak, suddenly its all over.
8. Even if it leaves you feeling complete and satisfied, you wish it had lasted longer.

PS Those who haven't been through it are generally jealous of those who have!(even if they won't admit it)

The Greek Alphabet Song

2006-03-20T21:35:00.000-08:00

The GreeK Alphabet Song("Alpha Beta Gamma")
(Sung to the tune of "Eena Meena Deeka")

Gamma delta beta!
(Epsilon zeta!)
Kappa lambda eta!
(Upsilon theta!)

Rho omicron,
Tau omega,
Mu Nu,
(SIGMA!)
Psi!Phi!Chi!Xi!Pi![In any old order you want]
I-o-ta............

[very fast]
Alpha Beta Gamma Delta,
Eta Theta Sigma Zeta,
Kappa Lambda!
Psi Omega!
Epsilon Upsilon Pi-tau,

Xi phi rhoooo!
Xi phi rho!
Xi phi rhoooo!
Xi phi rho!
(Its all Greek to me!)

Welcome to Antigoat

2006-02-05T20:30:00.000-08:00

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and Good Night to all of you out there, and welcome to Antigoat the first Blog I have ever written. My name, for thaose who know me well(cause if you don't, why would you care?) is Chitrak Bandyopadhyay, I have been forced to take another username, for my first name, strange though it is, is already taken.

Well, then, what is it that makes a man, when that man is me? What is the meaning of the term 'Antigoat' that has been mentioned in this Blog three times already(and quite redundantly too)? And will I ever stop asking questions(it doesn't seem bad now, but just you wait. Or ask my Profs)?(And of course what is this fetish with brackets?)

Friends, I am sorry to disappoint, but I am in the middle of my exams, the preliminaries for my preliminaries to preliminaries that allow me to enter institutions dealing with knowledge preliminary to a career in science, and you will hence have to bare with me, as I strive to add no further posts. Worry not, all will be explained.

Now Shoo!